A Long December

The most wonderful time of the year: The end of it

As we all sit humbled in the wake of our Spotify Wrappeds, in that liminal space between Christmas and the New Year, I sit at the keyboard at the beginning of a new decade. Yes, the rumours are true: I turned 40. No longer a gentle flower at the tender age of 39, an age which sounds like a lie, but a nice round number: 40.

My dear friends treated me to a lovely birthday dinner at Drift, a fabulously chic restaurant on the Halifax Waterfront, where we indulged in caviar, orange wine, and steak frites. And there was some excellent dogspotting along the boardwalk! Honestly, what more can one ask for?

As for the holidays, it was all a quiet affair, with good food, friends, and family. Some are still far away, which is always hard, but, as the song says, we muddle through somehow.

Resolutions, I’m Makin’ ‘Em!

Below you will find a list of the things I hereby resolve:

Spend less time on social media

Hi, my name is Julia, and I can’t stop doomscrolling. I don’t know if it’s just been a very strange year, but, as the kids say, the vibes are off. Things are bad out there. There’s the simultaneously horrific and pathetic Musk-ification of Twitter––which was already a kind of hellscape, but it was OUR hellscape––the “pivoting to video” of Instagram, which made me have to reconcile with the fact that I am just like that girl in Big Mouth whose eyes “go dead when she applies lip gloss”, to TikTok, where— well, nothing has made me feel more ancient, I think social media is getting less and less social.

Spending less time looking at a screen and looking back at my own face through said screen will be better for my mental health all around. Don’t worry, I’ll still wear my computer glasses when I write or when I just want to look nerdy-chic.

Read more books

This leads me to my second resolution, to read more on actual pages than on screens. I want books, lots of books, big, heavy, hardcover books that are almost unwieldy to read in bed before I go to sleep. I want to read more of my favourite authors’ new books and discover new favourites, I want to read all those ones my friends have recommended to me and I have on my “to-read” shelf, and I want to read the ones I bought five years ago that are collecting dust. I want to read more because the only way one becomes a better writer is to become a better reader — that, and diligence, and a bit of talent.

Write more, and more consistently

This brings me to the next, which is to WRITE MORE. Write more and write anything, just to sit down at my computer every day and write something down, even if it’s nonsense on the page. Even if I sit down not knowing where to begin and not knowing where I want to go, having faith that the mere muscle memory of my finger pads on the keys will take me to a place I need to be. See? I didn’t know what that sentence was going to be when I started it and it turned out pretty okay! I just have to stop overthinking it and do the thing.

Try to move my body around more

I just turned 40. And yeah, that’s not old, but it is a big, round number, and it has some baggage attached to it, like the fact that my physical body is simply not what it used to be. Ten years ago, I didn’t have a bad knee, for instance, and now I have a bad knee. (I’m not telling you which one it is, in case one of my enemies is reading this, lest I expose a weakness.) I think just getting up and moving around more will be better for my mental and physical health, and maybe that knee won’t sound so crunchy when I bend it or throb when I try to sleep on cold nights.

Practice self-kindness

There’s a lot of talk of self-care these days, and more than a face mask and one of those cozy headbands with little ears on them, slathering some Voltaren on that knee and listening to a sleep meditation is really what self-care looks like for me. Trying to look in the mirror and find something nice to say to myself, or at least not to actively say something mean, or make a face, or the myriad of things I find fault with in myself, physical or otherwise, and instead just thinking of something nice and kind to say to myself. I don’t care if that sounds cheesy. I AM cheesy. Do you want to see my Spotify Wrapped again?

Recommendations

The Unpublishable, by Jessica DeFino

I know, one Substack writer recommending another Substack newsletter?! Unthinkable. But Jessica DeFino has written some of the most thought-provoking stuff on beauty and the beauty industry—emphasis on industry—that I have read this year or any other. Her honesty is refreshing to the point of being blunt and brutal at times, but I promise you will come away from reading one of her pieces more enlightened, and often angry at the way the beauty industry and its toxic standards are essentially destroying women (not just women, but it is definitely rooted in patriarchy, so whoever challenges its supremacy is a target).

I recommend this recent piece, especially its focus on the latest surgical trend: Buccal fat removal, which is when the fat in your face is removed so you look “snatched.” You will have to snatch the cheek fat from my cold, dead skull, creeps!

Julie Klausner Dyes

I would love to be able to get my hands on one of the brilliant Julie Klausner’s hand-dyed creations, especially now that she has partnered with her designer friend, the great Todd Oldham, to make a chic collection of one-of-a-kind pieces. I’ve never really been much of a tie-dye person, but Klausner’s ice-dyed pieces are all beautiful colours and styles, and I’m always here to support a woman who’s creating art she loves from the comfort of her own apartment.

What We Do In The Shadows

You all told me to watch this show. I saw and loved the movie years ago, and you told me to watch the show. “You’ll love Nadja,” you said. And for some reason, I waited. My pride regrets to inform you that you were all right, it is excellent, and I love Nadja and strive every day to be more like her (be dismissive to men, help out younger women when they need guidance, and always wear a perfectly drawn red lip).

You Must Remember This: Erotic ‘80s

The last time I recommended podcasts in this space I wrote something like, “I always recommend a new Karina Longworth endeavour,” and I’m repeating myself, because the latest installment of You Must Remember This is, somehow, the best yet. You may or may not know that I have been slightly obsessed with the ‘80s since I was a teenager in the late ‘90s, but the type of film covered in this series, erotic thrillers, is a genre I don’t have much experience in. Yes, I watched some films along the way so that I would be able to better appreciate the podcast’s excellent analysis—Jagged Edge was fine, sex, lies, & videotape was great, and No Way Out made me finally understand why Kevin Costner became so popular—but this gave me a whole new appreciation for the genre, and a context to place it into. The best part? Her next series, Erotic ‘90s, starts in the next few months. I’ll be waiting with bated breath and an ice pick under my bed. (I haven’t seen Basic Instinct!)

(Note: my latest haircut was, in fact, inspired by photos of Kim Basinger in 9½ Weeks, a movie I have also never seen!)

With Gourley and Rust: Yuppie Nightmares

A cozy, easy-listening podcast about horror and thriller films, hosted by the hilarious Matt Gourley (of Conan Needs a Friend) and Paul Rust (from the Netflix series Love). If you’ve ever wanted to crawl into bed while listening to the dulcet tones of nice gentlemen extolling the virtues of the film Carrie and going on tangents, making obscure pop culture references that feel like they’re just for you, then this is the podcast just for you. The cover art is perhaps the best in the game.

Their latest series focuses, not unlike the Erotic ‘80s series above, thrillers about upper-middle-class folks who get into wild and dangerous situations that threaten their very Young Urban Professional-ness.

Cosmetique Corner

Fenty Poutsicle Lip Stain

I have always loved lip stains, because I always want there to be colour on my lips in case I’m caught by a paparazzo, and this one is so hydrating it won’t dry out your lips like some formulas. These have a beautiful gloss finish that wears down to a beautiful stain, which you can then put a gloss on top later in the day, so the look of your lip evolves with you. Who doesn’t love that? Plus they’re in the typical Fenty hexagonal shape, so they’re not rolling off your desk! Just hire me, Fenty, I’m happily promoting your products for free!

Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask in Vanilla

Everyone and their dog talks about how great this is, and it is indeed good; I love that it comes in a pot with a small spatula, because above anything else, I love a process. But the spatula has a rubber end stuck on a plastic stick, and once that breaks off, the honeymoon is OVER. It’s a nice formula, but be gentle with that precious spatula, you’ll miss her when she’s gone.

Pat McGrath MTHRSHP MEGA Celestial Nirvana palette

I’ve only had this one for a short amount of time, but based on the quality of Pat’s products in the past and what I’ve tried so far, I’m confident it’s going to become a staple in my collection. It has nude tones, warm tones, and bright colours, so it’s perfect for any number of looks. And the shimmers? Nothing like ‘em.

I think I’ll do a round-up of my favourite (and least-favourite) beauty products of the year, so stay tuned for that!

Until then, I bid you adieu in the same way that I am going to say goodbye to the year: See you in hell!

xo
Julia